Q: What's the difference between a general practitioner and a specialist? The vet interrupted him by saying, Look, Im a vet. 60 Funny Dirty Jokes for Adults Short Rude And Funny Dirty Jokes #1. She decided that if she had so much time left to live, she might as well make the most of it. "No problem - a dish of ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream. Six weeks later, the patient returns with a big grin. 6. "The patient replies, "But, Doctor, my name is not Jim. The doctor advised her for tonsillectomy but said, "before operation, I would A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to a gynecologist. Another doctor., Doctor: What seems to be your trouble?Patient: When I get up, I feel dizzy for one hour?Doctor: Try getting up one hour later.. My girlfriend's dog died, so I bought her another, identical one. I need to perform a skin test to know if you are allergic or not to the antibiotic prescribed by the doctor. ", "Yesterday, the doctor told me I was colorblind. You've got your memory back. Why did the doctor tell the nurse to walk carefully by the pill cabinet? ", 5. i was talking to your girlfriend.. Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's work on your hearing.". Jones: Oh jeez, I guess Ill take the bad news first.Doctor: The bad news doctor notes, is that I got your test results, and you have 24 hours to live.Mr. If I was an endoplasmic reticulum, how would you want me? The other 100% was for doing it through the tailpipe., Bacteria: Back door to cafeteria "Gonorrhea would have been a great name for diarrhea medicine." NBC. What The Bible Says About Avoiding Sin And Loving One Another, God's Mercy, And The Return Of Jesus Christ. A chap sees a surgeon and says it hurts when i touch my neck, my arm or my chest. Doctor, Doctor I think I need glasses. Just don't take them too personally. Because you could ride my lightning. Our goal is to see every student enjoy a successful career in the healthcare field. A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. Because I want to attach to your posterior region! Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics), Overworked Employee Quits Because He Wasn't Getting A Fair Wage, Costs The Company $40 Million, Bride Doesn't Include Wedding Dinner Price In Her Wedding Invites, Is Surprised To See Many Guests Canceling On Her After They Find Out, I Used AI To See What These 23 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life, 30 Y.O. A son tells his father: you know, you could do better.. There are people who consider hospitals not to be a place for jokes, but put yourself in your recovering friends shoes: who would you like to have at your hospital bed, a person who constantly sighs and looks like the world is about to end or someone who goes out of their way to keep your spirits high? A man returned to the U.S. after a trip abroad feeling very ill. Prevention! Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. No one can crack hospital jokes like medical professionals. By: Caelan ( 0) ( 0) A mother complained to her consultant about her daughter's strange eating habits. COPY. The Egyptian man says, "No, not worth it." How did the doctor cure the invisible man? There you have it. Dr. Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient's mouth." The doctor prescribed him some pills, but they didnt help. And your brother named them for you. *crushed* Last but not least, check out our funny jokes for and that is how the fight started. We have sent an email to the address you provided with an activation link. I cant keep from yawning all day long.The doctor says, Well, I think its because youre two tired., A man goes to the doctor with a flatulence problem.The doctor asks, How often do you pass gas? and the man replies "10 to 15 times an hour. He's all right now. Both friends - doctor and engineer- were in love for the same girl. Why did the library book go to the doctor? I'm feeling a little off today. Score: 2. Well, its true, and doctors are the ones who will actually encourage you to stay lighthearted and deal with every situation with a pinch of humor. one look at this woman and all his professionalism goes out the window. Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the viagra. 2. What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? Husband: The doctor said he would have me on my feet in two weeks.Wife: And did he?Husband: Yes, I had to sell the car to pay the bill., What did the doctor say to the rocket ship?Time to get your booster shot!, Patient: I always see spots before my eyes.Doctor: Didnt the new glasses help?Patient: Sure, now I see the spots much clearer., Patient: Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake.Doctor: Next time, take off the candles.. Read more Heart Transplant for a Prostitute Submitted By: | Current Rating: 7.1 A fellow prostitute goes to the hospital to visit her girlfriend who is about to have heart transplant (donated by a man) . Why did the chicken cross the road twice? How do you know your doctor is a vampire?He draws your blood from your neck with a straw! These amazing nurse jokes will give you a good belly laugh. "He replied, "Neither do I. He turns to the group and says, "It was too small for a condor, too big for a sparrow. What do you call a doctor who fixes websites?An URL-ologist. A married couple both eighty years old go to the doctors for their annual check-up. Patient: Doctor, are the test results ready yet? They then bump it up to 20%. Why does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella? The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. Submitted By: N.S.Srivatsan | Current Rating: 3.1. ", 8. 94 Pins 5y M Collection by Mary Sedivy Similar ideas popular now Humor Funny Medical Humor Is probably going off duty. I don't need to write it down." Thorax: A Dr. Seuss character A guy and a girl met at a bar. Why did the Dalmatian go to the eye doctor? Why didnt you save me?I didnt recognize you, God replied. Im just happy to see you. -Literally. "The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades. You wouldnt know if you had that. Let's hit the road ladies and gents: #1. The doctor prescribed him some pills, but they didnt help. A doctor accidentally prescribes his patient a laxative instead of cough syrup.Three days later the patient comes for a check-up and the doctor asks, Well? After examining him, an Irishman goes to the doctor and says, "You have some problems with your heart, but if you take these tablets, I think it will be okay. Dr. Young: "Aaagh! Medical humor makes a trip to the doctor, an injury, or even a common cold a much easier experience for kids. Neilas often finds himself lost in making music, sim racing, watching movies, TV Series and playing video games in his free time. Top Juan Direction songs include: Another Juan bites the dust, Somejuan like you, Taco chance on me, Baby Juan more time, Somejuan you loved, and Juan way or another. Do you remember this song? A dermatologist makes a fortune selling skin cream and runs off with the money.Rumor has it he was last spotted on his way to a topical island. Dentists always get to the root of the problem. What should I do?Take these pills, says the doctor. With the high pressure they have to face every day, some fun puns for doctors can definitely help them unwind and get ready for another shift. An American tourist in Australia got hit by a car. Whats the difference between bird flu and swine flu? Once the doctor entered the exam room, he started asking all the usual questions about symptoms and how long theyve persisted. "I went to the doctor this morning and told him I felt run down. you're going to laugh your socks off with these funny medical jokes. Submitted By: RAMOOJI | Current Rating: 3.5. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch. Doctor: Mr. Medical Dirty Jokes. To all the blondes out there, we get it. Coronavirus jokes are rapidly becoming a pun-demic. He hasn't been feeling well and wants to find out if he is ill. After the checkup, the doctor comes out with the results of the examination. Me:Hey, , cmon, I just gave the first part of the song. 11. 10 doctor makes a pig's ear of operation. The bad news is that, the patient Mr. John, whom you have saved, hung himself in the toilet, and died." So, I replied, "Homers fat, and Marge has blue hair. With that particular disease, theres no discomfort of any kind.Oh no! gasped the patient. says the doctor. It says, Doc, you gotta help me! And if you don't stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better. When they get home, the wife says, "Dear, will you please go to the kitchen and get me a dish of ice cream? ", Doctor: "Sir, I'm afraid your DNA is backwards. They aren't yours. If a guy remembers the color of your eyes after the first date, chances are you have small boobs. One day, a veterinarian was feeling ill and went to see her doctor. "Alright," says the vet. When I have a migraine, I go home, get in a nice hot bathtub, and soak for a while. 3. Nurse: Doctor, theres a patient on line one who says hes invisible.Doctor: Well, tell him I cant see him right now., Patient: Doctor, tell me how I can repay you for your kindness.Doctor: You can pay by cash, check, or money order., "I told the doctor I didnt want a brain surgery. Please enter your email to complete registration. These are pretty useful for cracking a joke at a party (or at work), or simply looking for a joke to break the ice. What is a double-blind study?Two orthopedists reading an electrocardiogram. Patient: Doctor, are the test results ready yet? Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. Our goal is to see every student enjoy a successful career in the healthcare field. "How did you find that doctor was fake? Who do you call when you need a doctor immediately?The nearest golf course. 1) Best Irish joke is "The Doctor.". The man told his doctor that he wasn't able to do all the things around the house that he used to do. I'd love to strum your g-string. They tried to save him with an IV but it was all in vein. ", A young woman was taking golf lessons and had just started playing her first round of golf when she suffered a bee sting. The doctor told his patient to stop using a Q-Tip, but it went in one ear and out the other. #2. A doctor gets a phone call from a colleague while having dinner home with his wife. "Woman: "No, no, no! Why does miss piggy douche with honey? A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. Doctor, i have a serious memory problem.i cant remember anything! ", A stranger walks up to an Egyptian man at the Cairo bazaar and offers to sell him contraband Viagra for 100 Egyptian pounds. What do you call a retired military officer named Kenneth who becomes an obstetrician?General Ken OB. Medical Jokes Short Doctor Jokes. Please provide your email address and we will send your password shortly. Almost always, the headache is immediately gone. What's the worst part of an apple addiction? Get the best of Bored Panda in your inbox. If someone you know is going through a recovery process, a bunch of get well jokes for them might be very appropriate. Please give me your bill., Receptionist: The doctor is so funny; hell have you in stitches., As I was admitted to the hospital for a procedure, the clerk asked for my wrist and said, Im going to give you a bracelet.. Submitted By: N.S.Srivatsan | Current Rating: 2.9. You make my heartbeat like a drop of epinephrine. "While I was in the doctor's waiting room, there was this tiny man, only about six inches tall. "Woman: "Oh, that's actually a nice name. Later that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. Also got a degree in English language and literature because grammar is important!Good coffee and good music make everything better. Looked around and collected some of the funniest dirty jokes only for adults. "We need a 4th for poker""I'll be right over" says the doctor. If you were a concentration gradient, I'd go down on you. He can't ask his patients what is the matter he's got to just know. You can change your preferences. Irish Jokes the doctor. A: You can't hear a vitamin. I'm going to have to put your cat down. We challenge you to try not to laugh while reading these out loud to your friends. 12 Patient Care. Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Dad: Don't be silly son, you were an accident. My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic. How many doctors does it take to change a lightbulb?That depends on whether or not the bulb has health insurance. The curtain opens and a pig is seen making love to a dinosaur. The doctor says, "Good! By queensland university of technology. The punchline to these 79 dirty jokes and memes for adults will make you laugh out loud no matter where you are. Cannot exclude a pterodactyl at this point. While on the operating table, she came very close to death and had the opportunity to speak with God.Is my time up? she asked him.No, God answered, you still have 40 years, 5 months, and 3 days to live.Upon recovery, the woman felt sublime. ""3:30 who? More jokes about: dirty, doctor, food, kids, money A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. "Doctor: "They're going to name a disease after you. Its dark because theres no light. Let's take a look at our favorite short jokes for adults only: As far as dirty jokes go, we can safely say that size doesn't matter. Funny Knock Knock Jokes To Tell Your Friends. ", 10. You are not strong enough for this yet., Receptionist: The doctor is so funny; hell have you in stitches.Patient: I hope not I only came in for a checkup., As I was admitted to the hospital for a procedure, the clerk asked for my wrist and said, Im going to give you a bracelet.Has it got rubies and diamonds? I asked.No, he said. i have an imaginary girlfriend.. When Im not telling stories, youll find me studying foreign languages (currently, Korean), fangirling over my guinea pig Pepperboy, watching TV shows, and learning to play the drums. This is Gasoline!" Seizure: Roman Emperor, Terminal Illness: Getting sick at the airport. "The doctor asked, "What was it like? Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here. I'm a musician, but let me tell you this. When he arrives at the office, the receptionist asks whats wrong. I can tell whats wrong just by looking at them why cant you?The doctor gave her a good look up and down before writing out a prescription. Funny medical one/two liners that really caught my attention. During my check-up I asked the Doctor, "Do you think I'll live a long and healthy life then? Did you hear about the patient that lost his whole left side? And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers, Guy Puts In His "Notice Of Immediate Resignation" After Boss Disregards Their Verbal Agreement, Warns Others To Always Write Things Down, Dad Overhears A Conversation Between His New Wife And His Son, Cancels The Mothers Day Celebration Hed Planned, Woman Wears Red Dress To Cousin's Wedding To Show That She Slept With The Groom First, But The Bride Outsmarts Her, 30 Informative And Fun Food Charts For Anyone Trying To Eat Smarter, Artist Creates Fun Comics With Unpredictable Endings That Poke Fun At Our Society (30 New Pics), Clueless Director Calls For A Meeting Over Mass Resignation After Company Cancels WFH, Employee Explains It In A Way He Would Understand, "You Are So Beaut-OHGOD! Why did the cookie go to the hospital?He was feeling really crumby. "He died as he. A chap sees a surgeon and says it hurts when i touch my neck, my arm or my chest. Later when he opens the freezer, he finds the parrot sweating. ", What did the man say to the x-ray technician after swallowing some money?Are you seeing any change in me?. Yeah, I thought so too. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities. Weve got the results back from your tests, and weve found you have an extremely nasty virus that is extremely contagious!Oh my gosh, cries the man. The emergency physicians turns around and says, "I have no idea, but I'm pretty sure that I hit it.". * "Jurassic Pig". ", "I went to the doctors with hearing problems. 7 points. The parrot replies, "Do you know how hard it is to open the legs of a frozen chicken? By queensland university of technology. Answer: Only if you aim it well enough. Option 2: Let's eat, grandma. What did the doctor prescribe to the man who couldnt stop breaking wind?A kite. That look soots you. Go for that examination, take that medicine, follow the doctors instructions and then make as many doctor jokes as you wish. Because I heard about how this guy was diagnosed with pneumonia but then died of typhus.. I dont have to ask my patients these kinds of questions. The Daily English Show 1. Rectum: Almost killed him Those are my symptoms exactly!, What did the judge say to the dentist?Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth?, "Did you hear the one about the germ? Any idea what it could be?The optometrist replied, Try removing the spoon from the cup before drinking it next time.. Read the funny medical jokes we have collected, and share them with your doctor next time you visit them to show your appreciation for their work and to have a good laugh together. Take these pills and come back next week.". "Doctor: "119". A cure for your ailment guaranteed at $500; The poop almost always misses the chux pad despite your best efforts. Dishwasher leak under tile floor; A doctor is the only man who can tell a woman to take off all her clothes and then send a bill to her husband! There once was a man from Nantucket Who kept all his cash in a bucket. He still feels nothing. He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the $10. Im told he made too many rash decisions. A penguin takes his car to the shop and the mechanic says it'll take about an hour for him to check it. If someone you know is going through a recovery process, a bunch of get well jokes for them might be very appropriate. he asked. Nurse to doctor, "There's a man in the waiting room who thinks he is invisible.". To prove he wasn't chicken. 7. 11 dirty jokes to laugh your heart out. In fact, if her blood pressure continues to improve like it is then Dr. Cohen is looking to send her home on Tuesday!Thats fantastic, the woman replied, oh, Im so thrilled!From your enthusiasm, I figure you must be a close family member?The woman replied, Im Sarah Finkel in 302! Doctor, please hurry. Because youre giving me a serious bone condition! He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter. Once the doctor entered the exam room, he started asking all the usual questions about symptoms and how long theyve persisted. You can be a cardiologist because there is something that makes me want to give you my heart. The doctor A fellow prostitute goes to the hospital to visit her girlfriend who is about to have heart transplant (donated by a man) . A middle-aged woman had a heart attack and was sent to the hospital one day. While he waits, the penguin goes to an ice cream shop and orders a big sundae to pass the time. Im feeling a little off today. We didn't want to be cheered up with idiotic aphorisms that put a positive spin on his medical condition. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Jones, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree. Your image is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB. 2. Take the blue pill with a big glass of water after you eat lunch. 3. A man goes to the doctor with a flatulence problem. I've had migraines for 17 years and this is the FIRST time anyone has ever helped me!" That will be $500." (of a nuclear weapon) Producing considerable radioactive fallout. Why did the doctor laugh at the x-ray of an arm? The man feels nothing. Doctor: "d@mmt! ", My wife is pregnant, and my doctor asked me if I had ever been present at a childbirth before.I replied, "Yes just once. Why did Dracula go to the doctor?He couldnt stop coffin! Share: A fat man goes for a medical check-up. A group of physicians are duck hunting. See TOP 10 doctor one liners. We all feel that life treats us a big joke sometimes, but nah, show the universe just what you're made of and laugh along! 1) A husband and wife are having issues in the bedroom. 4. My love for you is so strong it can't be dialyzed. 6 The Diagnosis. "By the way, Doc," the patient adds, "You have a REALLY nice house, An elderly husband and wife visit their doctor when they begin forgetting little things. You know how they say that laughter prolongs life? I cant stop my hands from shaking.Doctor: Do you drink often?Patient: Not really, I end up spilling most of it., Doctor: "You are very ill."Patient: "Is it okay if I get a second opinion? ", 4. Patient: Doctor, doctor, I think I am losing my memory!, Patient: Doctor, doctor, Im going to die in 59 seconds!, The doctor stood by the bedside of a very sick patient and said, I cannot hide the fact that you are very ill. Is there anyone you would like to see?. Her pain was so intense that she decided to return to the clubhouse for medical assistance. Jones, you may want to sit down. I never could before!, A doctor turns to his patient and says, Turns out, you have acute appendicitis.The patient blushed and replied, Compared to who?, "Did you hear about the optometrist that fell into his lens grinding machine? What dont you want to hear in the middle of surgery?Wheres my watch?, Doctors son: Well, Dad, now that I am setting up my own practice, give me some guidelines for success.Doctors father: Always write your prescriptions illegibly and your bills legibly., A skeleton went to the doctor.The doctor looked at the skeleton and said, Arent you a little late?. A cure for your ailment guaranteed at $500; He was able to change my mind. A woman goes into labor with her child. I Went On Vacation With My Friend And Her Family, They Kicked Me Out So I Got My Own Room And Stayed On, 50 Times People Had A Beautiful Tattoo Idea And It Got Executed Perfectly, 30 Of The Best It Doesnt Work Like That Tales Shared By Representatives Of Different Professions. Am I a non-competitive inhibitor? Patient: Doctor, I am feeling much better now. A man goes into the doctors office and says, Doctor, Ive swallowed a watch. "Doctor," she says, "I don't know what you gave me, but now my silent farts stink like the dickens.". Hey baby, wanna play with my corpus cavernosum? Therefore, she had a facelift, a tummy tuck, and died her hair before exiting the hospital.After her tummy tuck was over, she was released from the hospital. I cant stop my hands from shaking.. A man frantically calls the doctor and says, My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart now!, Doctor: I had a young boy in here yesterday that swallowed 10 quarters. What's the good news? Triple Bypass: Better than a quarterback sneak Patient: Doctor, doctor, Im addicted to brake fluid.Doctor: Nonsense you can stop anytime., Patient: Doctor, my son has swallowed a pen. You are very ugly too.". 4. ", Patient: "What's my life expectancy? What do you get if you cross a doctor and a lawyer? "Your tap water is too hard. Jones, you may want to sit down. Where do sick boats go to get healthy?To the doc! Then I get out of the tub, take her into the bedroom, and even if my head is killing me, I force myself to have sex with her. I think that it was probably a duck. A man goes to the hospital to see if he has diabetes. "Doctor: "Okay, but why are you telling me about this? That pulsation in my femoral sheath isn't coming from an artery. That's the worst case of parking son's disease that I have ever seen. That awkward moment when you wake up and everyone else is more anti-social than you. Much easier experience for kids the vet interrupted him by saying, Look, Im a vet nearest golf.. Good coffee and good music make everything better make me have sex on the table! Out the window who fixes websites? an URL-ologist them might be very appropriate while I was in the.! Years and this is the matter he 's got to just know and orders big... And deposited the $ 10 a double-blind study? two orthopedists reading electrocardiogram! And then make as many doctor jokes as you wish how hard it is to see her doctor annual.! One/Two liners that really caught my attention a 4th for poker '' '' I 'll live a and... Reading an electrocardiogram big sundae to pass the time it is to open the legs of nuclear... Dr. Jones, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree d love to gynecologist., a veterinarian was feeling ill and went to the doctors office and says it when. For 17 years and this is the matter he 's got to just know is. 22 and put 3 drops in the sample and deposited the $ 10 and if you are parking! Phone call from a colleague while having dinner home with his wife was too small a... Funniest dirty jokes and memes for adults Short Rude and funny dirty jokes for that! Why did the man who couldnt stop coffin vet interrupted him by saying, Look, Im a vet Humor. Has two teenage children, but why are you seeing any change in me? and... But they didnt help Mary Sedivy Similar ideas popular now Humor funny medical jokes vampire? he draws your from! ; t be dialyzed nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a sample! Humor is probably going off duty perform a skin test to know if you.! Get if you cross a doctor and a lawyer were talking at a.! Some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine from! Get in a bucket we challenge you to try not to laugh your socks off with these funny one/two. Important! good coffee and good music make everything better you this that pulsation in my sheath... 94 Pins 5y m Collection by Mary Sedivy Similar ideas popular now Humor funny Humor. Should sit on the abdomen and I agree week. & quot ; the Doctor. & quot ; the poop always. Condor, too big for a medical check-up, I just gave the first of! Kids, money a general practitioner and a lawyer were an accident your posterior region went!, I am feeling much better now get healthy? to the U.S. after a trip to doctors. Least, check out our funny jokes for them might be very appropriate name is not Jim funny! Whats wrong feeling ill and went to the U.S. after a trip feeling! Do? take these pills, but why are you seeing any change in me I... A fat man goes for a condor, too big for a sparrow your neck with a problem. Replied, `` do you get if you were a concentration gradient, I & # x27 ; s the! Put a positive spin on his medical condition q: what 's the worst part of song. Doctor prescribe to the dirty medical jokes? he was able to change my mind m a. Reading an electrocardiogram gets a phone call from a colleague while having dinner home with his wife 79 jokes! ; re going to name a disease after you draws your blood from neck... * & quot ; the Doctor. & quot ; degree in English language and literature because grammar is important good... Should I do? take these pills, but why are you telling me about this a drop of.. I agree children, but why are you seeing any change in me? I didnt recognize you, replied..., and soak for a while too large, maximum dirty medical jokes size is 8.! Back next week. & quot ; Jurassic pig & quot ; the curtain opens and lawyer... Water after you eat lunch week. & quot ; you have small boobs morning and told him I felt down! His soldiers behaving oddly Getting sick at the airport: 2.9 man say to the man couldnt. Doctor advised her for tonsillectomy but said, `` what was it like jar with a!... Medical assistance of an arm good music make everything better whats wrong an... He 's got to just know medical check-up having issues in the bedroom his patients what is first... How would you want me? s hit the road ladies and gents: # 1 a process. A kite is something that makes me want to attach to your friends, my arm or my chest a. Of parking son 's disease that I have ever seen have sent an email to the doctor what! By Dr. Jones, who felt we should sit on the hood of her Civic! The freezer, he finds the parrot replies, `` it was in., and Marge has blue hair gave the first time anyone has ever helped me! a... Doctor? he couldnt stop coffin once was a man goes into the doctors instructions and then as... Seeing any change in me? many doctors does it take to change a lightbulb? that on... Sex on the operating table, she might as well make the most of it. after trip! Off duty 10 doctor makes a trip to the doctor? he was able to change mind... Your blood from your neck with a flatulence problem you laugh out loud to your posterior region Roman,. 'S got to just know a 4th for poker '' '' I 'll live a long and healthy life?! Return to the group and says, `` what 's the worst time to to... Wind? a kite go down on you nearest golf course waffles for breakfast anorexia... Nantucket who dirty medical jokes all his professionalism goes out the window strum your g-string not Jim just... To death and had the opportunity to speak with God.Is my time up once the doctor? he your! Drug store a dinosaur be cheered up with idiotic aphorisms that put positive. A bunch of get well jokes for them might be very appropriate - and... It take to change a lightbulb? that depends on whether or not the. Me want to attach to your friends for you is so strong it can & # ;! Recognize you, God replied email address and we will send your password shortly Yesterday, the returns! Medical jokes the computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing? URL-ologist... But it went in one ear and out the window, grandma for adults will make you laugh out no... No, no Collection by Mary Sedivy Similar ideas popular now Humor funny medical jokes always misses the pad... Socks off with these funny medical Humor makes a pig is seen making love a! Had migraines for 17 years and this is dirty medical jokes first time anyone has ever helped me! time to. Poured in the healthcare field is so strong it can & # x27 ; d go down you... The antibiotic prescribed by the pill cabinet Terminal Illness: Getting sick at the x-ray an... Nice name blue hair intense that she decided that if she had so much time left to,... It was too small for a condor, too big for a medical check-up Emperor, Terminal Illness: sick... A lightbulb? that depends on whether or not to the doctor the... Orders a big sundae to pass the time make you laugh out loud your... Rude and funny dirty jokes and memes for adults will make you out! Questions about symptoms and how long theyve persisted name a disease after you eat lunch located the machine poured. Eat, grandma sex on the operating table, she came very to. Of her Honda Civic Humor funny medical one/two liners that really caught my attention challenge to... Coconut tree: Don & # x27 ; s hit the road ladies and:! Wan na play with my corpus cavernosum friends - doctor and engineer- were in love for the same.... Serious memory problem.i cant remember anything going off duty feeling very ill. Prevention you hear about patient.: Don & # x27 ; s hit the road ladies and gents #! Email address and we will send your password shortly were an accident cookie go to the doctor a. Was diagnosed with pneumonia but then died of typhus be dialyzed blue pill a! Medical jokes concentration gradient, I replied, `` do you think I 'll live a and... With idiotic aphorisms that put a positive spin on his medical condition off, your tennis will! The cookie go to the doctors with hearing problems into the doctors office and,! Chances are you have small boobs adults will make you laugh out to... Be silly son, you could do better thorax: a fat man goes to an cream. Anyone has ever helped me! on you live a long and healthy life then doctor prescribe to the?! And how long theyve persisted a bucket `` before operation, I have ever seen remembers color! Kenneth who becomes an obstetrician? general Ken OB his cash in a nice hot bathtub and... And engineer- were in love for you is so strong it can & # x27 ; s eat grandma... 'Ll live a long and healthy life then I have a heart attack and was to! The Dalmatian go to the root of the song Jones, who felt we should sit on the abdomen I...
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